Hi everyone

edited December 2019 in Welcome & Orientation

I don't know if I've come to the right place but my mother in law was diagnosed with stage 4b April last year. She's 67 years old and always had a tiny frame so doctors ruled out any surgery from day one and have been giving her chemo on off since then. One of my main reasons for coming here is - she won't tell us much at all if anything. So a lot of it is guesses or my husband (her only child) sneakily speaking to her oncologist - which by the way told him in April 2016 that "If the chemo works she will have months... if it doesn't... considerably less". He also arranged for her to sign a DNR form - which took us all aback because it's something we never thought she would consider. Our son and his wife are now expecting their first child so thankfully she has changed her mind on this matter. My husband is not good with death or sickness in general - so much so that between him and his Mum they decided to put me as next of kin so that if anything were to happen, I would be informed first then be able to tell him so it's basically left to me to try and answer my husbands questions and concerns but I don't have any answers to give. We've basically been told it started as endometrial cancer then we were told it was ovarian cancer, then that it had spread to her stomach, then her spine now her liver. But often she will say "no its only in my ovaries, it has spread a little but that's it". We were also told by her oncologist that they were looking at sending her to Royal Women's Hospital to have the bulk of it removed.. She's now back in hospital after nearly passing out at her oncology appointment and she's lost another 4kg - she's now down to 41kg. My husband is scared to answer his phone in case it's 'that call' and I don't know what else to do.


  • Hello, welcome to the website.  It is very sad what your family is going through at the moment.  I guess, your Mother in law is trying to protect you all from the reality of the illness, which is very hard for you all, however is her choice.  She obviously has a lot of respect and love for you, that she has made you, her next of kin.  It is really good that the oncologist wants to keep you informed and it is a good idea to keep plying him with all your questions, especially so you can help your husband as much as possible to deal with his mother's sickness.  Having some time in hospital will give her a boost.  As you can see from this forum, there are so many different stories and experiences with ovarian cancer.  It has been 5 years since I was initially diagnosed with ovarian cancer and over the years I have had surgery, different chemos and am now on a trial for a new drug, so don't give up hope, just be there for her and show her lots of love and support.  Family and friends support certainly gave me hope and being positive really helped. How exciting that you will be a grandmother soon.  Let us know how things go.  Take care.  Helen

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