Hi I’m Dionne

edited November 2019 in Welcome & Orientation

Hi everyone, I’m 49 and I was diagnosed November 2017 after being told by 3 doctors it was IBS as I was suffering from bloating I ended up at the ER for the 4th time they discovered I had ascites. Test results came back positive for cancer. Then it was a whirl wind of doctors and tests. I’ve had 6 rounds of chemo, lost my hair which was hard to deal with. The Tumor shrunk that much it could no longer be seen on the ct scan(it was 17cm). I then had to wait 4 weeks before debulking surgery which was stressful and having me going on anxiety meds. I already had a hysterectomy in 2001 so all I had was 1 ovary. My Surgeon who is one of the best, Dr Greg Gard, was wonderful. I am still recovering from surgery and have another round of chemo to go. It’s been so hard to deal with everything that I know myself I’m depressed and suffer from anxiety. I spend most days crying and not wanting to see anyone. I have 4 older sisters and I keep asking why me. Sounds terrible I know. I have 2 grown boys (30 and 20) neither are married yet and a wonderful husband. I really want to see my boys get married and have kids. I want to be a grandma. I have read a lot of post on here and you are all wonderful and inspiring women. Everyone keeps telling me to think positive because everything has been going really well but right now it’s just hard to do that. Sorry for if I sound all over the place but I’m terrified..

Comments

  • Hi Dionne,  I can understand totally how stressed and terrified you must be feeling.  Many of us who contribute to this forum have these same feelings on being first diagnosed with ovarian cancer.  This is a great place to let your feelings and thoughts out.  It is good that you are nearly finished with your chemo and that your surgery went well.  From my own experience I found that I started to feel better and more positive, when chemo finished and when my hair started to come back (about 4 weeks after finishing chemo) because like you I found losing my hair very hard to deal with.  Even though you don't feel like seeing people at the moment, I am sure friends and family who want to be supportive and help you, will become part of your healing process.  I found walking very helpful, even if it only a small walk around the block.  I am now 6 years from when I was first diagnosed.  Just keep remembering that they are doing lots of research into this disease.  Let us know how you are going.  Take care  Helen

  • Dionne, I agree with what Helen has said.  I was terrified of the surgery, but have survived months of weekly chemo and am now on an inhibitor for another 4 months.  They said a weaker mix weekly works better than a big dose every 3 weeks.  Well in my case it seems to have worked.


    I found that when friends visited, it gave me much more to think about (even if it was just different problems to mine!)   Also I was encouraged to exercise and walk as it keeps the blood cells whirling around and may help the medications work better.  I am much older than you (75) but aim at visiting a new great niece in England when my treatment is finished in July.

  • Thank you Helen and Lynn for you kind words of encouragement. It’s been 4 weeks today since my surgery and hopefully starting second round of chemo around the 15th March. I just find it very disheartening when you read the statistics and reoccurrence rates. All my Doctors say is everything is going great, they haven’t even really staged me but my surgeon said very early stage 3, because it was only on my ovary and omemtum and now where else. I worry about it becoming resistant to chemo or it coming back with a vengeance. They are sending me for genetics testing ( not sure when that will happen as I haven’t heard anything yet). It has been a bad 3 months. Perhaps after I speak to my oncologist next week he can shed some light on more questions and help me understand my pathology report. I try and keep myself busy but I’m not one for excerise. Best I do is walking around the shops. I’m trying my hardest to be positive and stay healthy. Take care ladies and will let you know how things go. Dionne

  • Hang in there Dede, I was 52 and diagnosed with stage 3c Jul'17. I'm just on the other side of treatment. 2 surgeries and 2 rounds of chemo complete, with my final test and scans clear.


    I am still overwhelmed by the generosity of my friends during the last 7 months. Some I offloaded to and others I laughed with and did not talk about cancer at all. About a month ago my hair started growing back and I'm beginning to feel and look like my old self.


    While going through treatment I went for a walk outside most days listening to my favourite music. Giving yourself some things that can distract you helps to keep some calm. I found meditation was a godsend too.


    I see your in Sydney so have a think about coming to the support group. It's a great source of information and a lovely bunch attend. And it helps to know your not alone.

  • Hi Alice,


    I’m hanging in, some days better than others. I try to keep myself busy and right now my husband been home because I’m recovering from surgery and I don’t know what I’m going to do when he goes back to work. I been struggling trying to find 10yr or more survivors, my Doctors which are great haven’t told me what stage I am. My surgeon said I was very early stage 3 , I feel like I’ve been thrown into the water and told to swim.


    I do try to keep myself busy but sometimes even then my mind wanders. I have done meditation and again the mine always wanders. I’m seeing my oncologist next week before I start chemo again so I have a lot of questions. I’m hoping he can explain my pathology results. I struggle with the 4 week waiting between surgery and chemo thinking what if it flared up again. What if the little microscopic bastards that might have been left have imbedded somewhere. This is what runs thru my head and why I been suffering from anxiety.


    But I must admit talking you ladies and reading the post on here does make me feel so much better. And I can tell you I’ve read them more than once.


    where abouts are you Alice, I’m actually central coast.

  • Hi Dionne,


    It's hard at the beginning as your trying to educate yourself about what's happening to you. I remember a friend of mine (a cancer survivor) told me it's a process and to just take each day at a time. I read an interesting book which I still refer to called 'You can conquer cancer' by Ian Gawler. It has some practical guides and self help techniques that could help. Stick with the meditation if you can. I've been doing it for 8 months and my mind still wonders so don't worry about that. But it really helped me with stress and anxiety.


    At the Sydney support group I have met women who are +10 year survivors and one who is in fact a 17 year survivor so there is hope. Plus you never know what medical science will have for us in the future.


    I felt the same way as you, hand balled back into the world "off you go Al see you in 3 months".  My first 3 month checkup is in early April. So I'm moving forward, travelling and in Bali until then. Take care, Alice

  • Hi Alice, you would think that we would here about these survivors more often. I research, that’s what I do. So I’ve decided to start doing excerisers as certain reports have stated that it can help in many ways. I have to try and get back to work, even though I work from home. Maybe one day I’ll join a gym. But for now I’m going to buy some weights ( just light ones for now) and build up these arms and butt...lol.


    I hope all goes well for your 3 monthly check up, let me know how things go. Safe travels.


    Take care Dionne.

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