How do people plan?

Hi All,

I'm new to the board. Diagnosed Stage 3C High Grade Serous Epitheleal Ovarian/Peritoneal 5 months ago. Inoperable, Platinum resistant so now on Caelyx palliatively. I feel well at the moment but have had one bowel obstruction already.

I have lots of complications and issues that the doctors seem to have no clue how long I have to live. To be honest, I haven't asked him yet and I intend to on Wednesday but I'm not sure he really knows. The consensus seems to be that I might have two week, two months, two years, two decades, not a clue.

My question to you lovely ladies is this: how do you live and plan with the unknown? Do you plan for twenty years in optimism? Do you live each day like it could be your last? I find it difficult because if this really was my last day there is no way I would do the dishes. But if I have two years, well then the dishes probably need to get done. Does this make sense?

Naturally I would love some certainty (or maybe I wouldn't) but that isn't going to happen with most of us so I guess some hints on living with the uncertainty would be wonderful.

Thanks and keep on living life!




  • Hi Robyn

    wow that must really be confronting for you.

    im not really sure how to answer that. I’m not in the same position as you well I guess I’m not we ever really know when our last day might be .

    i think you need to do what feels right to you

    there are some great resources

    • resilience kit
    • the support nurses at OCA- I’ll find the contacts and post for you.

    I’m sorry I don’t think I can be of much help. But here to chat if you need


  • Hi Robyn,

    Not the kind of news anyone of us want to hear, however you sound in good spirits. In answer to your question 'How do you plan" I don't think any one of us have a plan. I know when I was diagnosed I made sure that my will & accounts were in order and that someone in my family know all my passwords etc to deal with any complications that may have surfaced as were not always in the best place at times. As you probably were aware of when you had your operation for your bowel obstruction. I also hope that you are having some counseling to deal with the "little devil" on your shoulder. I totally understand your comments re the dishes, its hard living with uncertainty you say you feel well at the moment. Take each day as it comes, welcome the day and be thankful, do things that you want to do....if your able. One thing that I have come to terms with is that we are never the same person and to be kind to yourself take each day as it comes, get out of the house . I also do Meditation and Mindfulness it calms the mind and gives some inner peace it's easy to learn. I wish you the best and you will find lots of help and information from this site, also talk to your oncology nurses they have a wealth of knowledge as well.


Sign In or Register to comment.